Finishing goals

Last week i jogged/walked 15 miles. This week I’m less than halfway there but am intent on finishing the week strong, no matter what it takes.

There’s something beautiful about finishing a goal, even if it’s just one. Setting out to complete something and accomplishing it completely shifts my mindset into one of success. With one success comes another, and soon enough there’s a snowball effect of successes.

This is why finishing those 15 miles this week means so much to me. If i can get this together and meet my running goals, everything else will slowly start falling into place. Running away can actually make the rest of your problems disappear.

Psychological WMD

Today I feel like quitting my job, even if it means I have to quit business school as well. Serves me right for always fantasizing of quitting and coming to work with my family; the difference between expectations and reality is one of the most fantastically soul-crushing forces in the universe. If a psychological weapon of mass destruction were to be created it would have to come from the destructive force found in that gap.

I love my family, and i love being able to finally get my MBA. I don’t like this island and the social isolation, i don’t like  my paycheck or the havoc that this has created on my finances, i don’t like feeling useless at work without any say or power.

Should I move and pursue a better and more independent life? Should i practice patience and loyalty instead? What would prevent me from making a miscalculated decision with a terrible outcome? Analysis paralysis, shouldn’t there be a medication for this?

The Big Fat Fail

I’ve put on a couple pounds here and there over the years and mentally dismissed it as something that would be lost eventually. After all, i’m a healthy person that loves a good workout once in a while, how can the pounds not come off?
Maybe it was because i had people that were so positive and supportive around me, maybe it was because i always thought my pretty face forgave all the fat accumulating underneath, but i dismissed it as irrelevant. Always thinking: I’ll be fine, just a couple of runs here and there and i’ll get back into shape.

Recently i crossed over into the obese category and realized, this is not about a couple of runs anymore, this is going to take some serious time to fix. I messed up badly here. How bad? 70 pounds over a 7 year period bad. That’s a Big Fat Fail.

I don’t plan on losing 70 pounds and getting back to my spenthalf-a-dayatthegym&hardlyate weight, but i still need to lose a good 40 pounds to get into a healthy weight range.

So i did what any sensible obese out of shape person would do, sign up for a marathon. OK a half-marathon. And it’s more than 6 months away so there are a couple months left to train.

The Problem with Pinterest

Oh Pinterest, what can i say about you that has not been said. I just can’t seem to stay away for long. You lure me with your prettiness and ideas and inspiration. Just going through your pictures makes me feel like i accomplished so much, when i really just wasted hours procrastinating online.

Oh the projects that would have get done at work, the b-school studying that would have happened, the amazing workouts i could have done. If it wasn’t for you i would be ahead at work, an expert on business statistics, and have the body of a goddess.

And just as I’m about to block Pinterest forever out of my life, i realize: It’s not you Pinterest, it’s me. If not for you, I would have still found some other way to procrastinate. I need to fix myself in order to love you, dear Pinterest. Maybe we can be friends? Just stop teasing me so much, we can work this out. Plus i still have the body of a goddess…well OK, the Botero interpretation of a goddess. That still counts.

The Gym Fiasco

I recently moved to my current city and have been looking at gym options for a few months. Running outside is out of the picture because it’s VERY hot year-round and not safe. A few years ago i was here on vacation and tried running outside only to be defeated by the heat minutes later. This was back when i was super fit and would run every day, my current blubbery self wouldn’t survive.
I need to find a gym that is so convenient that there could be no excuses. My excuses are very creative and “i don’t want to leave my dog alone all morning” has been a valid excuse in the past. Although there are no gyms that will let me workout with the dog, there are others which offer excuse-busting conveniences. So i’ve bought a few Groupons and have been to others on a trial basis. Here are my results:

Gym #1: I live in a condo that has a gym downstairs. The convenience! Always available! So exciting! Until the elliptical didn’t work, the treadmill would rarely start up, and the second treadmill will violently jerk every 90 seconds. No workout here.

Gym #2: Had dirty bathrooms, dirty treadmills, and bad customer service. How i wish i had taken a picture of those treadmills with the sweat droplets accumulated over months without anyone to clean them. Excuse me while i return all unprocessed food in my stomach back to nature.

Gym #3: The highly recommended uppity gym. Except when i got there it wasn’t uppity. It was as plain as mom jeans at the gymboree. You want me to pay how much?? Dear uppity gym, have you noticed my financial FAIL? No go.

Gym #4 & 5: 5 minutes away from home! Great! Oh goodness, in what decade did you people buy this equipment? It’s OK, how much are you charging? What?!?! as much as uppity gym? I will pretend this never happened, walking out now.

Gym #6: Not a gym, but a running track close by. There’s no parking in the morning and a has a tow truck patiently waiting. Did i mention the heat? No go.

Gym #7: This used to be an all-ladies gym, where the geriatric crowd came to work out and exchange cookie recipes. Not helpful to salivate over cookie recipes while working out. I did not want to go, but i was on an “i have to work out” mindset and had just been kicked out of the running track. My mother insisted that it had been revamped so I asked for a day pass and went. It was thoroughly impressive. TVs in front of the treadmills, updated equipment, relatively clean. All the things that would have been a given in any gym in the US, but count as impressive here in the island. I asked the trainer for prices and he told me about a great offer; after thinking about it overnight I came back ready to sign up. However the salesperson said the offer had expired the day before and the price was now double. That would have been helpful information to know yesterday. She would not budge at all and i walked out, furious.

Gym #8: The treadmill at my sister’s house during lunch hour. Very limited

I should probably let it go, but i refuse to go back to gym #7. Take it as a life lesson and compromise, or refuse to compromise and find a less convenient gym that is further away?

Happy Valentine’s Day!

V-day is one of my favorite holidays.I love the visually stunning aspect of all things red, pink, heart-shaped,ruffly, and full of flowers. It so beautifully upholds the celebration of love and friendship in all its forms that I’ve never found a reason to dislike it, despite my hopeless singleness. There is hope in the world if there is so much love, that a day is dedicated to it.

This v-day i wanted to acknowledge the love i feel for my close friends and those that hold a special place in my heart with some homemade treats. I bought all the ingredients to make macaroons AND whoopie pies AND brownies AND cookies. One of them should turn out edible, right?

I only made the whoopie pies and they turned out more than edible. They were exquisite and the frosting was perfection. After coming to the realization that the frosting would melt during shipment, i gave them away at the office and had my mind set on making a batch of brownies to send. It never happened.
So i have friends that are excited to receive a package that hasn’t been sent.
Valentine FAIL
I’ll send an e-card. It’s the thought that counts?

On accomplishments of the day i jogged 2 miles during my lunch break, finished most of my b-school project and presentation for next week and helped a company i don’t work for save tens of thousands of dollars with a few key suggestions in the project. See, I can be awesome sometimes. If only they would send a few of those G’s my way :)

Get it together Yo!

My life is a disaster.

Career? Fail

Love life? Super Fail

Finances? Oh goodness i hate talking about money, but…Fail

Fitness? Big Fat Fail

Friendships? Could do much better at staying in touch; since i’m on a roll here that will count as: Fail

How did someone that is smart, well educated, and that has great friends and family fail so much? Laziness.

It would be great if i marked today as the start of a new chapter in my life and loftily state that i will start doing everything right, but i’m motivationally out of shape. Motivation takes training, and I’ve been lazy for far too long to so boldly change my daily choices and actions.

This blog is my amusing journey of trying to fail a little less each day. Hope it’s a success….although i don’t have a good track record